- Starring
- Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake, Zooey Deschanel, David Diggs
- Directors
- Walt Dohrn and Tim Heitz
- Rating
- PG
- Genre
- Animation, Adventure, Comedy
- Release date
- November 17, 2023
Overall Score
Rating Overview
Rating Summary
Trolls (the dolls) were created by Danish woodcutter Thomas Dam in 1959. Legend has it that Dam created the first Troll doll as a gift for his daughter, who was struggling with an illness. He carved the doll out of wood and gave it to her as a way to bring joy and comfort.
Trolls Band Together
Twenty years after abandoning Baby Branch and breaking up their boy band, Branch, Poppy, and Branch’s oldest brother have to get the band back together if they have any hope of saving “The Shy One,” brother Floyd from his kidnappers before his talent and life is sucked away.
Trolls Band Together is a rather formulaic affair that assumes the form of the past Trolls offerings but leaves out much of the magic from both the past two installments and the series. The result is a mildly cute, occasionally entertaining, but often slowly-paced diversion with some passably enjoyable song medleys auto-tuned to soulless “perfection.”
Arguably, one of its greatest weaknesses is its near abandonment of virtually the entire supporting cast while introducing far less interesting ones that have little to do with the overall narrative.
Instead of a cohesive story that builds to a meaningful crescendo, most of Trolls Band Together feels like a series of poorly conceived video game fetch quests. Branch and Poppy learn of an item or person that needs to be found. They are all but handed a critical clue to the location. They easily find what/who they are looking for. There’s a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to obtaining it/them. The obstacle vanishes, and it’s time to move on to the next quest. It’s enough to entertain children, but parents who snore should buy a 5-Hour energy drink beforehand.
We recommend chilling at home and watching The Wingfeather Saga instead.
INAPPROPRIATE ELEMENTS FOR CHILDREN IN TROLLS BAND TOGETHER
Most of the following takes place within the film’s first 20 minutes, but it’s enough that we discourage parents from encouraging these filmmakers by giving them their hard-earned money.
Earmuffs
- The Lord’s name is taken in vain multiple times, including the line “God, I want to boil an egg on those abs.”
- There’s a prominent song lyric, “Feelin’ good as Hell,” which is sung by a baby.
- The baby has a cuss word bleeped out, and a censor block covers his mouth.
The sexualization of our children.
It’s important to remember that most of the makers of this film are on the same side of the political aisle as those who accuse us of book banning because we don’t want our grade schoolers to read manuals on how to be power-bottoms.
- sexual objectification of the male form
- a closeup of a male troll in his tighty whities (which have an attention-focusing graphic on the crotch).
- At a wedding ceremony, the female priest strongly implies that she’s had thousands of sexual relationships.
- At the ceremony’s conclusion, the newlyweds aggressively attack one another and loudly and furiously start rolling around, making out on the ground in front of their guests.
- Later, these same newlyweds have a conversation in which we discover that the two were kicked out of a waterpark because the husband’s swim trunks were ripped off, to which his wife says, “Ooooooh, so hot,” and they again loudly make out.
- Not long after, the two are attacked and tied up, and the wife says, “I didn’t think we’d both find ourselves tied up on this honeymoon.”
- She quickly follows this up with, “Would it be weird if we made out?” To which his reply was, “Babe, it would be weird if we didn’t.” They then… you guessed it, start loudly making out.
Trans Agenda
- Ru Paul voices the free-love priestess.
WOKE ELEMENTS
See the Inappropriate Elements above.
But wait! There’s more.
Down With Whitey
- The only white people are the bad guys who are literally white (not caucasian – white).
Men. Ugh. Good god, Y’all. What Are They Good For? Absolutely Nothin’
- Every male is inferior to the women in some way, except for the baby (who is voiced by a black guy) – (as a side note, he’s also one of the few bright spots in the movie).
- The male baddie is effeminant.
- Poppy tells Branch that he should share his feelings with her but every time he does, she (and the film) treats him like he’s being ridiculous.
- The female ogre pilots their motorcycle while her beta male husband rides b!t@{.
Stupid Modern Thinking
The entire movie hinges on the fact that Branch’s oldest brother is/was a control freak who is always trying to get absolute perfection from the group while sucking all of the fun out of everything. So, since the Left ironically can only think in binary terms, the only other option (the central idea that saves the day) is to “just be you.” Never mind that the bad guys were just being themselves, too.
The idea that there is deep satisfaction and essential life lessons to be found in working hard to achieve never once crossed the mind of the filmmakers.
James Carrick
James Carrick is a passionate film enthusiast with a degree in theater and philosophy. James approaches dramatic criticism from a philosophic foundation grounded in aesthetics and ethics, offering insight and analysis that reveals layers of cinematic narrative with a touch of irreverence and a dash of snark.
15 comments
N/A
December 1, 2023 at 7:03 pm
Great review. Thank you.
Mark Kaplan
December 3, 2023 at 10:09 am
I thought Trolls 2 World Tour was clean enough and safe for kids because I watched it with my son. Like all franchises, it’s in the hands of pandering cultists who would stop at nothing to come for our children. The big deal breaker was RuPaul in Trolls 3 and I didn’t bother doing a further background check on the film because having a child groomer like RuPaul was more than enough to assume guilt on this film. This reminds me of when I took my family to the restaurant Red Robin last night and our male waiter was a trans but in professional uniform. I didn’t care he was my waiter as he showed no ill intention to my family. And the restaurant looked normal at first. But the more I started seeing the staff wear pride uniforms I canceled our order and we left for their competitor Glory Days. I will never eat at Red Robin ever again.
My point is don’t go to places or buy products from people who hate you and subject you to force acceptance.
b
December 3, 2023 at 4:35 pm
I like this website but this is a pretty silly review. This movie isn’t woke. Is Shrek woke for having adult jokes? I was pleasantly surprised by this movie having many hidden jokes like Shrek would have. Many animated movies and series before woke was a thing had adult jokes. This movie is not anti-male. It’s literally about a family of brothers reconnecting. Best of all it’s actually quite entertaining. I went into this blind having never watched any Trolls stuff prior to this (received free tickets from Xfinity Rewards) and was surprised how enjoyable it was and I went and watched the previous movies because of it. Hopefully we can at least agree this is a better option than seeing Wish.
James Carrick
December 3, 2023 at 4:50 pm
We’re bound to disagree occasionally (for instance I disagree that my review is silly). I will say that there’s a difference between subtly sneaking in jokes for adults and the overt sexuality that this movie showcases.
Mark Kaplan
December 3, 2023 at 5:39 pm
And the big thing is RuPaul is in this film who is the King & Queen of sexually grooming children along with “Trixie” and Andrew “Nina West” Levitt.
Informed
December 3, 2023 at 11:07 pm
Sure it’s better than wish. But that’s a really low bar. And while I don’t agree with everything the site says all the time. I think for the most part they are right about the wokeness. And the antimale points they point out are very common anti male tropes. Where the males are useless or always worst than the females.
Informed
December 3, 2023 at 11:09 pm
Unfortunately eventually this is going to be really hard to get my daughter to not watch. I already struggle to get my wife to understand why being antiwoke matters for our kids. But she brushes it off as paranoid political worries that our kids wouldn’t understand anyways
Mark Kaplan
December 4, 2023 at 7:59 am
Sounds like she took your daughter to see the Barbie movie behind your back and it is superwoke. This is why nothing changes and why Barbie was considered a success because women like your wife are out of touch with reality against the harm they do to both their own children and have no care for the suffering of their male neighbors including their own husband. They base their findings on emotions (“oh its only satire” or oh, it’s just animals and colors) and not on actual facts like the underlying messages that worm their way into the house to indoctrinate. So you go ahead and you trust them (women) in leadership roles. We’re seeing firsthand majority who lead are more empowered by everything between their thighs and snowballing our legacy to destruction. I fear what would happen to your daughter the fact your wife is going against your wisdom.
Informed
December 6, 2023 at 11:33 am
Well actually she didn’t do barbie because it was recognized by her as a more adult movie. Most of the movies jm talking about were Disney flops lol. So at the minimum she’s not changing narratives lol.
nonya business
December 6, 2023 at 11:10 am
I’d prefer not to have to make a declaration that “I’m woke” if I don’t want updates. Scripture says that the power of life and death are in the tongue and you want me to either receive your updates or state, no thanks I’m woke. We’ll I don’t want either and I’m not making that declaration. You’re not biblical making people make that choice and those who don’t want it are making a declaration according to the bible if they choose not to get updates when they click on that button. I did neither in response to the aggressive decision box.
Informed
December 6, 2023 at 11:34 am
It’s a joke lol. I’m not with the website. But it’s an antiwoke website making a joke. Chill.
James Carrick
December 6, 2023 at 11:38 am
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…” Including laughter and jokes.
Matt
January 20, 2024 at 2:38 am
Informed, I totally feel you
Same here.
Aryana Brennan
March 22, 2024 at 5:49 pm
Hey just Wanted to say my husband and I really appreciate you making this website and writing these reviews, it seems you’re the first of its kind and we haven’t found any other website that reviews movies by someone of like mind. Thank you so much , super helpful.!!!
Joe
July 24, 2024 at 7:50 pm
Don’t forget the pride flags 10 minutes in.