What if the beloved characters Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, when left to their own devices, went feral and murdered and ate every human that they came into contact with? This is the question asked and answered by Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey.

Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey

Taking place in the fictional 100-Acre Woods from A. A. Milne’s 1926 children’s classic “Winnie the Pooh” series, Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey is not the Pooh that you remember from your childhood. You see, Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Owl, et al. were actually adolescent mutant half-breeds (half-man half-beast) when a young Christopher Robin first stumbled upon and befriended them.

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Ostensibly, they shared all of the fun and adventures that you remember reading about as a child, however, once Christopher Robin came of an age to leave and go to college, the group of misfits fell into hunger and despair. Unable to fend for themselves, they were forced to turn to cannibalism, with only Pooh and Piglet surviving the plushy purge. Driven to madness by what they had to do to survive, they turned their rage toward humanity, gave up speaking, and became little more than bestial monsters.

Unlike Cocaine Bear, which tries and fails to bridge comedy with a mishmash of multiple horror subgenres, Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey knows exactly what it is, a slasher monster movie with a ridiculous premise, and it stays laser-focused on this.

With that as it’s single conceit, Blood and Honey brings very little that is new to the horror genre, relying exclusively on tropes and cliches to move the action along from one horrific and gory set piece to another. In fact, were it not for its unique if ridiculous premise, I’d say that this flick was entirely forgettable.

In what is sure to lead my therapist to suggest extra sessions, I found myself laughing out loud at some truly horrific scenes. But how could I not? It’s Piglet and Winnie the friggin Pooh running over people with cars and literally slapping the faces off of people. Despite the absurdity, Blood and Honey manages to deliver mostly satisfactory jumps and scares, and boasts gross-out gore sufficient enough to satisfy the biggest fan of the genre.

As unbelievable as it seems, somehow this nonsense works. The eerie and pitch-perfect score and cinematography make up for many of the film’s shortcomings, like middling performances, virtually no story of which to speak, and movie monsters in static rubber masks that you can see the bottoms of.

When it’s all said and done the laughs are of the out-loud variety and the thrills are sufficient if a little sparse. Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey will entertain horror fans as well as those who like movies that are so bad that they are good, and most likely it will become a cult classic, but its slow pacing and somewhat bland supporting cast will keep it from achieving Evil Dead levels.

WOKE ELEMENTS

There’s not enough of a story or runtime to fit in much of anything, let alone woke nonsense. However, the filmmakers did manager to shoe horn in a lesbian couple whose burgeoning relationship added nothing to the overall narrative.