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Shogun (Season 1)

Set in feudal Japan during the 17th century, the story follows an English navigator, John Blackthorne, who becomes embroiled in the complex political intrigues of the time. As Blackthorne navigates the treacherous landscape of samurai warfare and cultural clashes, he must adapt to the rigid hierarchy of Japanese society while also striving to maintain his own identity and loyalty.

Shogun (Episodes 1&2 – Anjin & Servants of Two Masters)

Based on the 1975 novel of the same name, Shogun takes historical drama to the next level. Its attention to detail is of the same scope as programs like that of Yellowstone but on a scale to rival blockbuster films. However, its aesthetic realism is only the doorway that lets audiences in. Its mesmerizing performances and captivating tale of betrayal, Japanese feudal infighting, and global-scale treachery keep audiences on the edge of their seats.

Unlike most made-for-TV epics, not a single performer stands out as subpar or out of place. As a matter of fact, two episodes into its reported ten-episode run, only one minor detail seems out of place: the lead actor’s blue contact lenses. Cosmo Jarvis has dark brown eyes in real life, and the lenses currently used are beyond distractingly fake looking. There are scenes in which the character almost looks blinded by cataracts. That said, his performance is so excellent and his presence so magnetic that they are almost forgivable.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Something to watch

• There are some instances in which women are given more leeway than seems natural for a drama set in 1600 Japan. However, I’m not a historian, so I could be wrong. After all, as girls, Japanese women were taught martial arts and expected to protect their homes. Also, the incredibly limited deference granted to one or two of these characters is logically explained and occurs very organically within the context of the story… for the most part.

Shogun (Episode 3 – Tomorrow Is Tomorrow)

As John Blackthorne recovers from the assassination attempt on his life, Regent Toranaga makes plans to save his own. Will a combination of guile, bravery, and luck be enough to see them through the night?

Episode 3 of Shogun continues the series’ outstanding attention to detail as well as world and tension-building. This episode was far more spectacle than substantive, consisting mostly of action with very little story-telling. However, the Shogun’s quality is such (so far) that it manages to use the action to develop characters and set up future conflict instead of simply tacking it on due to a lack of material or creativity. With its rich characters, superb performances, and promise of feudal samurai war, 3/10ths of the way through, Shogun remains Worth it.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Treating Christian History Fairly?

• Some might argue that the Christian Japanese Regents and their scheming, as well as the apathy displayed by the priest in charge of the Catholic mission, is woke. However, the relationship between 1600 Japan and the Jesuits was very complex, filled with greed on both sides.
• Many historians (Catholic ones) agree that greed became a motivating factor for much of the Jesuit leadership and was always a main factor in the “conversion” of many of the Japanese, with their leaders converting solely for the exclusivity of access that it brought them.
• So far, Shogun does a great job of not indicting the religion so much as the particular men in question.

Shogun (Episode 4 – The Eightfold Fence)

With episode 4, Shogun continues to be one of the best programs on television. Lord Toranaga has enlisted John Blackthorn to teach his men the art of European warfare. As recompense, John hopes to free his men, his ship, and himself from this alien land. Unfortunately, Blackthorn and Toranaga are not the only two with plans and ambitions.

Superbly acted and beautifully shot, episode 4 moves the story forward nicely, giving audiences just enough to feel both sated and hungry for more. The unfortunately named Cosmo Jarvis gives what is now his customarily strong performance, while Anna Sawai steals every scene as Toda Mariko. Sawai exquisitely balances Japanese stoicism with theatrical flare, infusing Wittgensteinian pregnancy into the smallest upturned corner of a mouth. The supporting cast is just as strong as their characters scheme and connive like politicians while navigating the strictures of the Boshido code.

One of the biggest weaknesses of long-form storytelling of the last decade has been the tendency for showrunners to stretch too little story over too many episodes (looking at you Ahsoka). Fortunately, Shogun has the opposite problem. If anything, the depth of the characters and the illusion of ancient Japan, combined with some excellent writing, make it seem as though shows could go in any direction and give audiences more than they could ever digest in a single setting.

If you’re not watching Shogun, start. Hulu has a free month-long trial currently available and you can watch each episode (with commercials) on ABC.com as they are released.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Wait For It

• None.

Shogun (Episode 5 – Broken to the Fist)

Lord Toranaga has returned, and he’s brought an unwelcome surprise with him. As war with the Regents becomes more likely, Toranaga must deal with his incompetent son and a trader in his midst. Meanwhile, John Blackthorne is only now beginning to realize how alien this land truly is.

With the larger world-building ostensibly done for this season, episode 5 focuses almost exclusively on the interpersonal dynamics of John’s new existence. As excellent as the show has been up until now, it has truly found its stride in this episode. The pacing is perfect, the performances are magical, and the tension is exquisite.

In a drama such as this, it would be easy and understandable if it tipped over into melodrama; however, with its combination of crips and economic dialogue and Japanese stoicism, so far, the show has maintained a nuanced and textured balance.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Are Cracks Begining To Show?

• It is possible that the 3-minute cliffhanger at the end of this episode will introduce a female character who diverges significantly from feudal Japanese culture. However, it is far too early to tell, and the show has earned more than enough goodwill to deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Shogun (Episode 6 – Ladies of the Willow World)

In the aftermath of the earthquake, more than just the ground is crumbling beneath Lord Toranaga’s feet. With a massive swath of his forces swallowed by a mudslide and the other Lords preparing for war against him, Toranaga’s options have dwindled to one.

As programs like Disney’s Ahsoka barf up meaningless nonsense, fumbling their way from one contrived and over-rarified set piece to another, Shogun’s smart and thoughtful storytelling reminds us that talent and thoughtfulness still exist in Hollywood.

The program continues to be a study in theatrical nuance and subtlety. Anna Sawai, who plays Mariko, could teach a masterclass in minimalist emoting. With the cast of her eyes and almost imperceptible tightening of her jaw, she says more than most of the bloated and meaningless dialogue spewed from lesser performers in “grander” shows.

Few “major” events take place in this entry. Instead, Episode 6 takes subtlety to a new level as the tense interplay between Sawai’s Mariko and Cosmo’s Blackthorne builds. Every moment between the show’s crisp dialogue is like a fine wine given time to breathe as the cast and crew imbue the silence with power rather than a Marvel-esque childish quip that wrecks the solemnity.

However, one possible burgeoning concern was introduced in the last episode and further explored in this one. Her superb performance notwithstanding, Fumi Nikaidô’s Ochiba (consort of the late Lord Taikō) is a wrecking ball when compared to the others in the show. The problem is that it doesn’t fit with the rest of the world-building done to this point. It’s a bit jarring but still hasn’t detracted much from the overall quality.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Girl Boss?

• My understanding is that, in the books, Ochiba is a sophisticated and discreet manipulator. This makes sense, given that Feudal Japan treated women as property, and they’ve been called as much in the show on more than one occasion. It’s unclear if her more aggressive and overt posturing in the program is a result of the need to condense a large manuscript into the constraints of a television program or if it’s part of someone’s misguided desire to portray a strong and powerful woman.
  • The show has built enough goodwill for me to give it the benefit of the doubt. So, I didn’t penalize it much for this on the Woke-O-Meter.

Shogun (Episode 7 – A Stick of Time)

As the season nears its end, tensions have reached a breaking point. Lord Toranaga has committed to Crimson Sky, but with his forces decimated by the earthquake, he must turn to his estranged brother in the hopes of enlisting him and, by extension, his considerable forces.

Shogun continues to offer the best drama on television. In contrast to programs like the lackluster Halo and embarrassingly awful Echo, which gracelessly fill the spaces between their too few key events with cinematic cellulose, Shogun expertly layers in meaningful subplots that both drive and enrich the main narrative.

In Episode 7, we are introduced to Lord Toranaga’s brother, who was mentioned in the previous installment. With a hint of doubt about his fraternal loyalties already peppered in from that episode, we are treated to some delectable suspense as the two brothers come together. Furthermore, some already-established relationships are tested, while some seemingly minor subplots from earlier in the season are brought to an organic close. All the while, the story continues to blossom into what promises to be a very satisfying conclusion.

WOKE ELEMENTS

We Don’t Serve That Here

• None.

Shogun (Episodes 8-10)

The final three episodes of Shogun, while still higher quality than most anything else on TV right now, are a bit of a letdown. Although relatively faithful to the source material, the series’ sudden shift in focus to Mariko and Lady Ochiba arrests the program’s momentum.

From all reports, it seems as though Ochiba was an interesting and integral part of the novel, with her subtle manipulations and self-serving machinations bringing about the story’s ultimate conclusion. However, in this series, her character’s role is fumbled and her motivations are of so little interest as to make her existence feel tacked on.

Equally bungled was Mariko’s arc. A character whose primary appeal throughout the rest of the series revolved around her will-they-won’t-they romantic relationships, her sudden change in status to that of the primary character was unfulfilling, to say the least.

While Shogun didn’t land with the thud of some other series like Game of Thrones and Carnival Row, its clumsy change of focus and subversion of expectations offered an underwhelming end to an otherwise great series.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Bungled and Forgotten

• By the end, Blackthorn has become a nearly forgotten character overshadowed by female characters that no one really cares about.

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Poor Things

Set in a fictional steampunk 1800s Europe, when mad scientist Dr. Godwin Baxter (Willem Dafoe) finds a fresh and viable corpse floating in the river, he’s compelled to experiment on it, ultimately bringing it back to life as the seemingly dimwitted Bella (Emma Stone). As the abomination Bella matures, she begins a journey of self-discovery that will lead to her full actualization.

Billed as a dark comedy, Poor Things is a reimagining of the Gothic Horror classic Frankenstein, but unlike most reimaginings, which usually only end up being inferior to their source material, Poor Things is a dumpster fire of vileness, infantile philosophy, and arrogance that can be seen from space.

Willem Dafoe gives his usual 110% as the quirky doctor, but for all of the impressive prosthetics he wears, his character isn’t much to look at. Despite how the commercials may make it appear, Dafoe is a tertiary character with very little development or screen time. Instead, his primary use is that of a plot catalyst and not much else.

Mark Ruffalo plays Duncan Wedderburn, a lawyer and self-proclaimed cad who is immediately besotted with Bella. Mind you, she has the mind of a toddler. His first interaction with her is to molest her, which she enjoys… because she has the mind of a toddler and the sex drive of an adult. Disgusted yet?

One of the film’s few redeeming qualities is Ruffalo’s exaggerated performance. Regrettably, his character engages in a disturbing and graphic sexual relationship with a severely mentally handicapped woman, portraying a torrid and explicit love affair throughout their European tour. This ugliness lays waste to any potential comedy beats that his performance might otherwise provide.

While the film has much and more wrong with it, one of its most significant weaknesses is everything about its main character. Completely ignoring Tropic Thunder’s sage advice, Emma Stone’s natural comedic panache renders Bella’s mental capacity as an 80s/90s middle school joke instead of the nuanced character those involved in the film’s creation mistakenly believe it to be.

Furthermore, Bella’s childlike mentality elevates the film’s relentless pornography from merely graphic and gratuitous to utterly grotesque. That Bella’s evolution is only ever propelled forward by graduated sexual perversions culminating in her getting run through as a French whore (WITH THE MIND OF A CHILD) is a disturbing commentary on the filmmakers’ worldview.

Making things worse, Poor Things is a plodding two-and-a-half hours with a meandering plot. While it repeatedly tells us about fun adventures that Bella gets into, it chooses to show us scene after scene of her walking around in between said adventures. This gives the audience plenty of time to ponder the horror show that must have been writer/director Yorgos Lanthimos’s childhood. We wouldn’t be surprised if he’s not allowed within 500 yards of a school.

Ultimately, Poor Things is a never-ending pedo-fetish porno with fantastic cinematography and a beautiful aesthetic that has absolutely no idea what it takes to make a well-paced and focused film, let alone what it means to be human.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Let’s talk about sex.

• The entirety of the film hinges on and furiously preaches the wrong-think that juvenile hedonism is the meaning of life.
  • Bella’s character finds love in a lesbian relationship because.
    • The film is full of discordant music throughout. The only exception is in this scene.
  • In one particularly graphic scene, moments after we discover that Bella ***SPOILER*** is an actual child in an adult’s body, ***END SPOILER*** the “comedy” offers one of its many attempts at humor and shows us Bella loudly orgasm after ramming an apple inside of herself.
  • In another “comedic” scene, a man brings his young sons (approximately 10 and 12 years old) to Bella so that he can have instructive sex in front of them. He then plans for them to have sex with her.
  • It is overtly expressed that being a whore is how a woman finds her freedom.
  • There’s a lot (like someone had a very friendly drunk uncle – “a lot”) of genital “gags,” play, and talk – if a fraction of a second of it was remotely related to funny, at least it could be written off as ineffective attempts at humor, but this isn’t funny and is really uncomfortably odd.

The talking points are strong with this one.

• There’s a line about not accepting the lie of religion, capitalism, or socialism, blah  blah blah

Sacrilege

• There’s some nonsense about the stifling wrongness of a Christian nation.
• Dafoe’s character was given the last name Godwin solely so that Bella would have an excuse to refer to him as God.

Men are overrated

• Every man is a mess in one way or another, and the only two people who find any true happiness are Bella (once she begins studying for a career in medicine) and her lesbian lover.

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The Creator

Set a little over 40 years in the future; Artificial Intelligence has reached levels that make it virtually indistinguishable from human intelligence. After an unnamed AI detonated a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles, America declared war on all AI across the globe.

The Creator follows Joshua, played by John David Washinton, a retired United States deep undercover operative whose mission it once was to track down and kill Nirmata, China’s leading AI scientist, thereby winning the war. After a botched operation that killed his wife (a Chinse AI sympathizer) and unborn child, Joshua decided to leave the war to others. But five years later, when evidence is presented to him that suggests his wife survived the attack, Joshua will do anything for five more minutes with her, including lead a group of U.S. military operatives on a mission to find Nirmata’s newest AI weapon and destroy them both.

The Creator is a masterclass in technical excellence with some of the most realistic digital effects ever seen on screen. However, as masterfully crafted as they might be, their design is equally uninspired. It’s a shame that so much technical brilliance was wasted on a film in which every other aspect is unoriginal, poorly thought-out, and, in some aspects, a bit of a mess. It’s a film in which handheld EMPs exist, yet soldiers fight robots in hand-to-hand combat.

It’s a fairly standard tale of redemption through putting someone else’s needs above your own, so in such a story, it falls to world-building to differentiate oneself from the pack. Unfortunately, The Creator’s screenwriters barely showed up, giving us a grab bag from dozens of other better movies and one plot hole after another.

The movie lacks a host of subtle details that would make the difference between mundane and magic. For instance, mankind has successfully created artificial general intelligence, but for no given reason, AGI has never evolved into ASI, which is the next logical step in AI evolution (a concept regularly given lip service in the film). For some reason, AI exists only in the form of humanoid robots and plays no role in human society other than as defacto humans or slave labor; the cars don’t even drive themselves.

The lack of creativity infests character designs as well. Early in the film, we discover that Joshua lost an arm and a leg in the LA explosion, but aside from a couple of shots of him without them, they play no part in the film whatsoever. Presumably, his injuries are to give him added reason to hate AI and provide additional subtext. Unfortunately, it’s never explored meaningfully, and his emotional journey is standard and formulaic.

Can anyone remember any movies where a soldier or law enforcement official with a cybernetic limb faced off against artificially intelligent robots?

Another buffoonish creative blunder occurs in a scene in which a small group of American Special Forces covertly drop into enemy territory at night to reconnoiter and suss out the location of a suspected AI weapons facility. However, their “advanced” armor lacks protective headgear, is relatively brightly colored, and, in lieu of night vision, has no fewer than two ignited high-beam headlights and a third on the end of every weapon as they “sneak” through the otherwise dark and treeless plains that are within eyeshot of the village they intend to infiltrate.

Want another medium-sized one? The film makes certain that the audience knows that The U.S. has unequivocally sworn off the use of AI in any form. However, in a scene late in the second act, the military employs two ridiculous-looking slow-moving robot bombs with “silly” personalities for “comedic” relief when an RPG would have done the job far more accurately and efficiently.

Then there are 25-megaton thermonuclear explosion-sized plot holes like the fact that The United States has developed a floating arsenal/military base/AI detection system (that for some unknown reason also has a farm inside of it) the size of Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer that hovers over China in low Earth orbit constantly searching for hidden AI development centers that, despite its ever-present city-spanning detection beam, it only successful finds during the film’s climax.

The movie shows multiple times that The U.S. has no problem dropping nuclear bombs from the floating platform onto areas full of innocent civilians. In fact, the movie regularly shows that the military exhibits no rules of engagement or concern of any kind for collateral damage in any combat situation, often mowing down dozens of unarmed men, women, and children during their various ground assaults.

So, we know that they don’t care about non-American human life. We know that they have unassailable air superiority. Then why do they continually send poorly armored infantry into areas that they suspect are havens for AI?

Want some more? The movie states that NOMAD (the name of the floating platform) took ten years to build, but for some reason, neither China nor any other country did anything in those same ten years to prepare to fight NOMAD. No one has antiaircraft missiles anymore? The platform shows no signs of having any defensive capabilities. Why hasn’t anyone tried to blow it up? How is it that EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD that was advanced enough to develop artificially intelligent beings wasn’t able to mount a defense against a slow-moving, unprotected weapon of mass destruction that is the size of Rhode Island but can be completely ***SPOILER destroyed by a single standard-issue magnetic bomb? END SPOILER***

The plot is as childishly overly simple and criminally underdeveloped as the world in which the film is set. The Creator is an unimaginative 2-hour running gun battle that includes an escort mission ostensibly designed to elicit empathy from the audience, and thanks to a handful of shockingly heartfelt moments delivered by the 6-year-old Alphie, who the 9-year-old Madeleine Yuna Voyles plays, we do feel something. However, it’s far too little, and much of it comes far too late, with telegraphed twists revealed with all of the gravitas of breakfast cereal.

Amidst what are sure to be audience’s regular protestations (if you’re like me – they’ll be out loud [it’s ok, I was in an empty theater]) of, “Why didn’t he just…,” or “Couldn’t they have just…,” and “That was stupid, they just did ‘X’ in the last scene. Why not do it again here,” the greatest travesty of the film is that John David Washington still hasn’t found a vehicle that is worthy of his prodigious talent. Amongst the wreckage that is this by-the-numbers technical triumph, Washington gives it his all and manages to piece together depth and nuance from a watercolored Mona Lisa.

Ultimately, The Creator is a 2-hour bit of Ahsoka-level sci-fi moved along via coincidence and convenience and makes no sense when held to any scrutiny. It’ll make acceptable background noise when it goes to a streaming service, but that’s it.

WOKE ELEMENTS

UPDATE: So, I guess that I missed that the movie took place in the fictional land of “New Asia” and not “New China” (I could have sworn that’s what they said in the theater). Therefore, I’ve adjusted our woke score a bit and edited the woke elements accordingly.

• A Western film that is a bigger piece of anti-American, pro-Asia propaganda has never been made. Even the NBA thought it was a bit much. Since it plagues every moment of the film, we dinged it pretty hard for it.
  • Almost all New Asians are portrayed as peaceful victims who want only to be left alone to live serene and harmonious lives, which makes sense when you consider the number of countries that stand as shining examples of human rights activism and democracy in East and Southeast Asia (just ask the Chinese Uighurs).
  • The evil Americans are all Adolf Hitler with no regard for non-American lives. They are the worst kind of John Kerry Vietnam baby-killing demons to ever exist. Oh, and the only one who has a change of heart also happens to be the only minority among them.

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Reservation Dogs (season 3)

In the third and final season of Reservation Dogs, the story continues with Bear (D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai) and his friends. After a trip to California, they find themselves back in Oklahoma. The series delves into the history of the elders in the community, drawing parallels between the Rez Dogs and their younger selves. Expect a mix of wisdom and humor as the gang navigates their way into adulthood.

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What We Do In The Shadows (season 5)

In Season 5 of “What We Do in the Shadows,” Guillermo’s quest to become a vampire takes center stage. Laszlo discovers Guillermo’s secret and conducts experiments, resulting in a legion of animal-slash-Guillermo-clone hybrids. However, Guillermo remains no closer to full vampirehood. Meanwhile, The Guide tries to fit in with the vampire housemates, and Colin Robinson considers running for Staten Island comptroller.

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Only Murders in the Building (season 3) Review

In season 3 of “Only Murders in the Building,” Charles, Mabel, and Oliver find themselves embroiled in an intriguing murder mystery. Actor Ben Glenroy’s death on the opening night of Oliver’s new play sets the stage for their investigation. The trio suspects Donna DeMeo, the producer of the play, of killing Ben. As they uncover evidence and confront Donna, surprising twists and revelations unfold.

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SCREAM VI

By now, every moviegoer knows what they are in store for when they sit down to a Scream movie. So, it would seem as though it would be difficult to be disappointed by one. However, the first ten minutes of Scream VI were done so well, with double blinds and thoughtful twists, that it had me believing that this entry into the franchise was going to pick up the fresh and inventive baton that the first one has been trying to pass along for the last 26 years. I thought that it might even keep me guessing or at least caring until the end…I was wrong.

I can almost hear the writers saying, “Yeah but it’s meta,” every time someone pointed out how unoriginal or stupid something was in their script. It’s unfortunate, but Scream VI relies entirely on unlikeable characters, played by mediocre actors, making decisions that no one would ever make. All the while it completely disregards physics and biology whenever the script needs it. To put it plainly, Scream VI is an utter piece of crap.

Immediately following the nail-biting opening, the movie screeches to a bone-jarring stop. The following scene shows the main protagonist, Melissa Barrera’s Sam Carpenter, providing an amateurishly written and needless exposition dump via a contrived therapy session. Its only purpose is so that she can catch the audience up with the events of the previous movie and let us know that she (the daughter of the 1st movie’s Ghostface) enjoyed killing the bad guys in Scream V. It has all the subtlety of The January 6th Committee.

In a movie like Scream VI, ambiguity is king, and it might have actually been interesting to hint at Carpenter’s feelings throughout the film and to keep us guessing if perhaps she was the killer. Unfortunately, either due to a lack of direction, terrible script, or middling talent on her part (probably a little from each column), Barrera doesn’t have what it takes to get that across to the audience in any other way.

She’s not the only one delivering sub-par performances, everyone’s guilty of hamming it up. Unlike the original, however, in which Jamie Kennedy’s Randy was obnoxious but lovable, this uber-diverse group of mostly gen-z’s is ironically homogenous. They exhibit virtually the same personalities, and what little personality they have is banal and shallow.

Having said that, the only truly embarrassingly horrific performance is given by Dermot Mulroney. He is unbelievably over the top, with cartoonish facial expressions and (somehow) lifeless shouting. It’s doubly shocking because he’s been in the business for nearly 40 years and usually gives a fairly solid performance.

However, the movie’s weaknesses don’t end with bland and anemic performances or even over-the-top ones. No, it’s ridiculous on all fronts. There are silly things like Hayden Panettiere dressed in an over-designed black leather biker jacket and ridiculous nickel-plated sidearm to show that all 5’0″ of her is a hard-boiled FBI detective. If that’s not enough to convince you of her bonafides, then her cute little blonde bob and Neutrogena spokes girl looks will do the job.

Then there’s the new Randy, who just so happens to be related to the old Randy, who voluntarily gets on the New York subway on Halloween night without once considering that a cab or Uber might be a better choice. Who, in their right mind would think that getting into an enclosed and inescapable space while surrounded by macabrely dressed strangers would be a good idea? Do you know who wouldn’t? THE REAL RANDY! That’s not the worst of it, the group only realizes AFTER they get on and begin to think that they’ve made a bad choice that there are 10 friggin stops before theirs and they STAY ON FOR THEM ALL!

If that’s not enough, the plot armor couldn’t be any thicker for these characters. Ghostface takes multiple headshots from fists, feet, and even large metal gumball machines. Then, after the unmasking happens, there’s no mark to be seen. I can’t overstate the brutality of the blows delivered upon Ghostface’s noggin.

Not to be outdone, several of the characters receive multiple deep (I mean like 3-4 inches deep) stab wounds and then, with the exception of the initial scream of pain, act as though nothing happened. Seriously, in one scene the Brachial artery of one of the main cast is sliced. The character is quickly losing blood, and only barely manages to get away. In the real world, it can take as few as 90 seconds for a person to bleed to death from a wound like this. However, after some basic 1st aid (delivered multiple hours later) in the next scene, the character is fine and behaving as though it never happened.

Finally, in what is not the last but is the movie’s most egregious display of ineptitude, Scream VI is mostly boring. Sure it has bursts of intense action/violence but nearly half of the picture is spent sitting and talking about the characters’ feelings.

While it offers a couple of good scares, Scream VI is a mostly useless entry into an already-tired franchise. Do yourself a favor and watch the first one again instead.

P.S. Courtney Cox has had so much plastic surgery that she looks like a burn victim after a face transplant.

WOKE ELEMENTS

This was a bit tough because it’s totally possible that the filmmakers decided that woking it up was meta, and did so knowingly. However, the overall ineptitude on display leads me to believe that most, if not all of the woke elements, are not in jokes.

• Mindy is gay solely for the sake of “representation” instead of narrative. While she was introduced in the last film, the activism carried over to this entry.
• Woke physics. Itty bitty girl bosses that can hardly reach the gas pedal can shake off injuries that would stagger a terminator. Seriously, the tallest chick in this thing is 5′ 7″ and probably weighs in at 115 lbs. but that doesn’t stop them from handing out some whoop-@$$ to much larger and stronger opponents. Oh, and every guy is either shut out or taken out of the major action.
• The heroes don’t carry guns. They barely survived the last movie and aren’t anti-violence. In one scene, Sam assaults and tasers a guy in the balls for consensually escorting her sister to his room. Also in her first scene in this film, she admits that she kind of liked killing the bad guys in the last picture. Also also, Sam is paranoid and frightened to near xenophobia in this picture. It’s complete nonsense that she wouldn’t be packing.
• Snarky b!t@h (but only toward well-meaning men) as a celebrated character trait makes its way into the film.
• Friends as family. I can’t be the only one who is sick of the concept that a group of close friends is the same thing as a family. It’s not. Stop it.
• This movie has ALL of the diversity, and since the performances were mostly flat and lackluster, I’m going with diversity for its own sake rather than the best cast having been picked and it is only incidentally diverse enough to star in a Nike commercial.

The post Scream VI first appeared on Worth it or Woke.

The Menu

While I will do my best, reviewing a thriller in any meaningful way without spoiling anything is a nearly impossible challenge, so please bear with me as I navigate the minefield. The first twenty minutes of The Menu are a perfect example of how to build tension in a film. Aided by pitch-perfect performances, all of the long quiet slightly eschew moments that movies like House of Darkness tried and failed to deliver, The Menu serves up with ease. It is these moments between, the unspoken and unidentified yet implicit threat, that drive The Menu’s narrative, and Hong Chau (The Whale, Downsizing), who plays Chef Slowik’s restaurant Captain, can be credited with much of this. She is wonderfully difficult to read, seamlessly transitioning from welcoming hostess to menacing acolyte and giving us brief tantalizing glimpses of what lies beneath the surface to chilling effect.

In a film in which what is unsaid is more important than what is, one of the standout performances are those given by Janet McTeer (Ozark) and Paul Adelstein (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel), who plays Lillian and Ted, a hoity-toity restaurant critic and her disgustingly sycophantic editor. The chemistry between the two is wonderful, with each feeding off of the other in a decadent symbiosis. They fill the uncomfortable silences with even more uncomfortable banal elitism as she attempts to deduce the chef’s intentions just loudly enough to be heard by everyone but quietly enough to maintain the illusion of a private conversation.

While everyone holds their own in the film, Ralph Fiennes’s star shines the brightest. His portrayal of the serious and wounded Slowik is as offputting as it is magnetic, with Fiennes dancing on the edge of madness throughout. One moment, he’s menacing and the next he’s boiling over with vulnerability and despair, but throughout he commands your attention as easily as his Chef Slowik does his zealot-like kitchen staff.

Unfortunately, the movie flounders in the second act when the twist is revealed. It’s disturbing and potent, but it happens so early in the movie that the reactions of the potential victims don’t make sense. None of them believably try to escape or fight back in any meaningful way. There’s a scene in which it’s shown that escaping would be difficult but it seems insufficient to break all of them from trying again. All that was needed was a scene with someone trying to escape and finding out that the door was locked, or to have someone rush the “bad guys” only to be seriously injured or killed, to make it more believable that everyone just sits there and accepts their fate.

The Menu’s biggest problem is that only two of the restaurant guests are evil enough to come close to justifying what is planned for them but the movie seems to take the antagonist’s side which is that they all deserve death because of how their wealth makes the chef feel.

Finally, the very last shot is completely unearned and dumb.

Some of the performances are almost enough for us to add this to our Worth It selection but it ultimately just misses the mark.

WOKE ELEMENTS

• The entire premise of the film is that the wealthy elite are horrible and deserve death because of how they make Slowik feel about his “art.” As though his feelings are their responsibility. Unfortunately, since it is the film’s central idea, and it gets very preachy, we dinged it pretty hard for Wokeness. It really is the movie’s downfall. All of the early nuance is flushed in a single spectacle followed by an hour of masterfully performed expositional Lefist justifications.
• The movie pays lip service to the idea of the “noble prostitute.”

The post The Menu first appeared on Worth it or Woke.