Dark Comedy https://worthitorwoke.com If it ain't woke don't miss it Tue, 16 Jul 2024 13:40:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://i0.wp.com/worthitorwoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/cropped-wiow-worth-it-or-woke-cirlce-logo.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 Dark Comedy https://worthitorwoke.com 32 32 212468727 Gravity Falls https://worthitorwoke.com/gravity-falls/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=gravity-falls https://worthitorwoke.com/gravity-falls/#comments Tue, 16 Jul 2024 06:25:26 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=22129 Gravity Falls is a decent enough diversion that asks little from audiences and offers silly stories and fun characters

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Gen V (season 1) https://worthitorwoke.com/gen-v-season-1/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=gen-v-season-1 https://worthitorwoke.com/gen-v-season-1/#comments Tue, 03 Oct 2023 23:42:03 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=11663 More Gen Junior Varsity, by contrast rather than comparison, Gen V reminds us of how great The Boys is

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The Boys comics were first published in October 2006. Far too edgy for the then DC Comic subsidiary, Wildstorm Comics, it was summarily canceled after only six issues. However, it quickly found new life at Dynamite Entertainment, where it finished its run in 2012. Gen V is loosely based on the comic story arc titled “We Gotta Go Now.”


Gen V (S1: E1 – 3)

gen v review rating wokeSet in the same universe as the Amazon series The Boys, Gen V follows a handful of students at Godlkin University, a Vought International-sponsored school for Supers, as they navigate the usual pressures of university life as well as the horrifying and dark truth hidden beneath the university’s hallowed walls and in the shadows of the administration’s black heart.

Derivative by nature, only a relatively few spin-off series have been able to find success to rival their progenitors. Most that have can almost exclusively credit their success to the charisma of their leads and the quality of their writers. For while spin-offs might launch with larger audiences than original programs, fans often quickly grow tired of recycled plotlines and weaker character dynamics than that of their beloved original.

Gen V benefits greatly from existing in such a well-built world because its characters are fine but forgettable, its soap opera teenage drama is tedious, and its primary plot has already been done better by Billy Butcher and crew. Whereas the plot for each season of The Boys is tight and well thought out, Gen V exists on a campus built from convenience.

Godlkin University is purportedly THE number-one institution for turning out high-profile Supers and is very selective about its admissions. Yet, according to the show’s narrative, both the show’s star and her roommate have powers that necessarily preclude them from ever being top-tier or accepted by middle America… unless that is, the completely unpredictable set of events, the catalyst of which is utterly ridiculous, that just so happen to MacGuffin their way to fruition occurs.

A further frustration with superhero programs in general and Gen V specifically is what’s become the trope of superpowered people not being curious enough to explore the full extent of their powers. Maria Moreau, adequately played by Jaz Sinclair, has the ability to control blood telekineticly. In the sequence in which she first discovers her powers, she is shown to be able to make it virtually explode into razor-sharp shrapnel.

 

However, when grown, she chooses to slice open her hands with a knife and shoot blood from her body as projectile weapons. If she can manipulate blood into razor-sharp projectiles, why does she need a knife to cut open her hands? Why not save crucial time by slicing them open from the inside with her blood? How is it that she doesn’t get woozy from the exertion? Why not use the bad guy’s blood against himself? How is it possible, especially considering the way in which she discovered her powers, ***SPOILER that she doesn’t discover that she can put blood back inside of someone until she’s 18? END SPOILER***

Then there’s the problem with the show’s plot. It’s a bit SPOILERISH, so continue reading at your own risk. For an unknown reason, the school’s basement (not a sub-basement, just a regular old basement-level basement) houses a secret facility, a prison for young Supers who are being punished or have exhibited adverse side effects from Compound V.

The only reason that such an easily detectable facility can possibly be justified as existing under the feet of hundreds or thousands of super-powered young adults, many of whom (at least as freshmen) are at the university to become crime-solving heroes, is so that it can be discovered for plot purposes. Episode 3 even makes a special point to let the audience know that all Supers have far more acute hearing than regular people. There are literally people screaming in agony a few feet below them on a daily basis. It’s stupid and lazy writing.

That said, Gen V gets a lot of things right. It’s well-paced and decently acted, and just like in The Boys, Gen V nails Vought. Clearly a meta-commentary on the glut of DEI and identity politics in film and TV, Gen V satirizes companies like Disney by making Vought’s every motivation that of a soulless mega-corporate entity churning out what they believe to be culturally palatable-high profile low-value products.

With stakes that are hard to care about, characters that aren’t as interesting as that of the parent series, and a contrived and underwhelming plot, it’s hard to say if its well-placed Easter eggs and the novelties of gross-out gore and supes behaving badly will be enough to carry this series to future seasons.

 

WOKE ELEMENTS

These three episodes were really challenging in this regard. On the one hand, the casting is as artificially diverse as one can be. Buuuuuuuttttttt, the show makes a point of letting the audience know that the evil Vought corporation consciously uses identity politics to pander to useful idiots. That said…

  • A ridiculous number of people are arbitrarily and irrelevantly bi-sexual.
  • Woke sexual behavior is unsanitarily dripping off every episode’s proverbial walls.
  • Of course, a douchebag guy is white with a small penis.
  • There’s an over-the-top (even for a spin-off of a markedly over-the-top show) amount of penis abuse. One jerk character (you guessed it, a white guy) is mind-controlled into repeatedly smashing his junk with a baseball bat, while another douche (yup, a white guy) – loves having his handled roughly.
  • There is a main secondary character whose primary superpower is being literally non-binary. I kid you not; they (I hope you appreciate how much I hate typing that) is at they’s most invulnerable mid-transformation from male to female and visa versa.
    • While, at first, I believed this to be another instance of meta-commentary, in Episode 3, there is a long and painfully stupid sequence in which they preach to a surrogate audience via Asian stereotypes.

On a positive note, as I write this, I’m glad to learn that, for the time being, Grammarly finds the incorrect usage of pronouns as confounding as I do.

 

Gen V (S1: E4)

gen v review rating wokeIn episode 4 of Gen V, the gang, aware of at least some of the evil goings-on at God U, continues investigating what went wrong with Golden Boy. Will they be able to hide the truth of their knowledge from the superpowered investigator who’s been sent to “help?”

Now that the somewhat twisty setup and character introductions are out of the way, Episode 4 finds a little footing and provides a sense of direction. It is also significantly benefitted by the addition of the series’ first villain worthy of attention… right up until he’s neutralized.

So far, the show’s most problematic and overarching issue is its main characters. Whereas the cast of The Boys is full of well-defined characters, each with distinct personalities and motivations, Gen V’s crew is diverse-looking but is otherwise mostly homogenous and shallow. Differentiating character traits range from liking to get stoned to being unenthusiastic about one’s powers.

Unfortunately, this episode makes a massive misstep that emotionally neuters what had been a rather enjoyably tense narrative thread with loads of promise and potential. Early on, we are introduced to Tek Knight. Mentioned multiple times in The Boys series, Tek is a superpowered Sherlock Holmes and host of a reality detective show. Played to pompous perfection by Robert Vernon, Tek is as relentless in his pursuit of the truth as he is in his desire to use that truth to manipulate and ruin people for the sake of ratings.

What’s unfortunate is that Vernon breathes such deliciously insufferable life into Tek, only to have him rendered completely (metaphorically) powerless in the name of a joke that isn’t even funny. His abilities, in combination with a magnetic performance, made for the show’s first meaningfully grounded conflict and could have made for a wonderfully tense and compelling remainder of the season.

Were we to rank shows from 1 to 10 (1 being a melodramatic soap opera and 10 being the most engaging of dramas), we’d give Gen V a 4 so far. That’s not to say that it’s not entertaining, but neither is it something you must see.

WOKE ELEMENTS

  • One or more of the writers had to have had a very “friendly” uncle as a child because the amount of hate for male genitalia is obsessive and overt.
    • This episode opens with a would-be rapist (you guessed it, a white guy) having his ***SPOILER*** schwanson exploded ***END SPOILER***.
    • ***SPOILER*** The main villain is frighteningly competent. So, it only stands to reason that the very diverse and normal human dean is able to best him by easily and out of nowhere, discovering that he’s a pervert who likes to screw inanimate holes. ***END SPOILER***
  • While I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt early on, it’s clear that diversity for the sake of diversity is not a meta-commentary but a purview.
  • Every white guy is evil, crazy, or dead.
  • Every good guy who is a POC is also bisexual.
  • There’s some forced LGBTness.

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Renfield https://worthitorwoke.com/renfield/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=renfield https://worthitorwoke.com/renfield/#comments Thu, 27 Apr 2023 20:23:16 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=2858 Renfield has a boss and a job that both suck. What about his movie?

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Renfield and Cocaine Bear were the two movies that I was most looking forward to this year. How unfortunate that both were such disappointments. I guess that I’ll have to look forward to The Flash (for which I have very mixed feelings).

Renfield

Robert Montague Renfield was once an enthusiastic young lawyer with a wife and child. Sometime in the 1890s, in an effort to secure a lucrative land deal and realize his ambitions, he ill-advisedly solicited Count Dracula. From that moment until the present day, Renfield has been the Prince of Darkness’s slave, serving him the blood of innocents in exchange for immortality and a taste of power.

Then one day, while stalking his master’s prey, he came upon a self-help group for abused co-dependents, and, for the first time in centuries, his eyes were opened to the possibility of a life without his dark master’s influence. Now, armed with a seed of self-confidence and a self-help book, Renfield goes on a journey of self-discovery to become the healthy independent man of which he dreams.

Sounds like a pretty sound foundation for something interesting, doesn’t it? Well, read the plot synopsis for the other half of the movie, and tell me if you think the two make sense when put together.

5-foot-nothing rapper/comedienne professionally known as Awkwafina, who is best known for her 10-year-old YouTube song, “My Vag,” plays a hard-as-nails yet goofball cop in a precinct full of dirty cartoon cops owned by the very crime family responsible for the abduction and murder of her father. Now, consumed by her pain, she vows to take revenge and bring the crime family to justice…by cursing a lot and openly and publicly mocking the precinct for being on the take, also she makes silly faces.

To say that, in a vampire movie, hers was the only performance to truly suck, would not only be cliche, but accurate. For half of the movie, her performance is reminiscent of a fish flopping around where it has no business being. For the other half, she looks lost in the company of her betters. Truly, it felt as if the only direction that she got from director Chris McKay, was “Just do what you do.”

This was a really challenging film to critique because, unlike the tragically outclassed Awkwafina, Nicholas Hoult gives his usual excellent and nuanced performance that almost always elevates the material that he’s given. Furthermore, Nicolas Cage is riotously funny as Dracula, hamming it up and chewing on the scenery with his oversized canines in exactly the way that you expect from him. When the two are together, their chemistry is otherworldly. That’s why it’s such a travesty that theirs is actually the C-plot.

The main storyline is the flat and unearned admiration that Renfield feels for Awkwafina’s (I feel like a child even writing that name) Rebecca because he saw her stand up to a group of bad guys. That’s right, somehow in over two-hundred years he’s apparently never seen that, but now he has and, thanks to the power of boners and feminism (which ironically do not mix), he sees a path to once again being a fully realized and independent man.

If that’s not bad enough, the B-plot of the Lobos Crime Family trying to do whatever they are trying to do (I honestly can’t remember and don’t care to find out) felt like the discarded script for a Joel Schumacher Batman movie. The direction wasn’t any better. In fact, the only thing missing was ice skates popping out of the bottom of Dracula’s shoes and Arnold Schwarzenegger making bad ice puns.

When the fangs retract and the high from sucking the life force from unsuspecting victims has subsided, half of Renfield is a 0% in every one of our rating categories, while the other half is in the 80s to 90s…maybe even a couple 100s. If this ends up streaming for free on a network that you already have access to, you should definitely watch it just for the good half.

WOKE ELEMENTS

  • Every man is either a moron, disgusting beta male, dirty cop, evil murderous henchman, or a centuries-old blood-sucking vampire.
  • Only the two intersectionally appropriate Hollywood quota-filling female cops are worth a d@mn.
  • Awkwafina is 5’1″ but is able to take down men three times her size in hand-to-hand combat.
  • With only the two women as exceptions, law enforcement is treated as though they are all dirty. There’s even a sign on the precinct wall that says “Don’t solve crime till overtime.”

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Cocaine Bear https://worthitorwoke.com/cocaine-bear/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cocaine-bear https://worthitorwoke.com/cocaine-bear/#comments Tue, 28 Feb 2023 17:39:24 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=271 Cocaine Bear wasn't the only thing high when this movie was greenlit.

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Cocaine Bear is very very very loosely based on a true story about a black bear that stumbled upon and ingested bags of cocaine that were dumped in Georgia’s Chattahoochee National Forest during a failed drug smuggling attempt.

Cocaine Bear

Unlike the real-life story of Pablo Eskobear, who died almost immediately after ingesting nearly $2 million dollars worth of cocaine, Cocaine Bear goes on a drug-fueled murder rampage as it hunts for lost bags of nose nuggets that have been distributed throughout Chattahoochee National Forest. In the meantime, some kids get lost in the woods and a mother goes looking for them as the drug dealers responsible for the errant booger sugar go hunting for their millions in lost product.

real-life cocaine bear pablo eskobar
Real-life Cocaine Bear

It sounds like the setup for something really fun. I know that I was more excited to watch this than almost any other film announced for this year. Unfortunately, director Elizabeth Banks has managed to prove that the unmitigated mess that was 2019’s Charlie’s Angels wasn’t an accident. She is entirely out of her depth behind the camera, with no sense of structure or how to tell a visual story. Thanks to her ineptitude, Cocaine Bear fails on every level. It’s not suspenseful, it’s not funny, and for a movie of its type, it’s not particularly scary or gory. It’s not much of anything.

The movie transitions from scene to scene with almost no emotional or thematic tether to one another. Instead, it jumps from monster movie parody to screwball comedy to serious horror with all the grace and subtlety of a 200 lb black bear high on coke.

The performances range from out of place to the worst that a high school drama department has to offer. In what would be the last role before his death, Ray Liotta’s character has a mullet and a gun, but he’s Ray Liotta…do you get it? Ray Liotta is known for playing tough guys…and he’s got a mullet…do you get it…isn’t that funny?

He’s wearing yellow sunglasses and has a mullet. Brilliant!

Cocaine Bear is billed as a dark comedy but the humor peaks at an observation that a sign in the national park looks like it depicts two deer screwing…do you get it? It’s a picture of deer mating…do you get it now?  No? Well, how about this: at one point the bear passes out on top of someone and it’s revealed that the bear is a female. We know that it’s a female because, according to the smushed person beneath it, its “vagina is” up by his ear. Bear vagina, hilarious! Never mind that the guy’s head is underneath the bear’s chest.

Even the easiest gags are beyond Bank’s ability to handle. Early in the movie, there’s a scene that is clearly supposed to be comedic in which two young children ingest copious amounts of cocaine, and that’s the joke. The two don’t get high and behave ridiculously…you know like the Cocaine Bear. In fact, their behavior doesn’t change at all. They take the absurd amount of coke and then we’re off to the next scene.

All-in-all, Cocaine Bear feels like a student film from a first-year student at a 2nd tier film school. If you want to watch fun B-film horror, watch Critters. If you want pulse-pounding action horror, rewatch Aliens. If you want quality dark comedy horror, watch The Burbs. Whatever you do, don’t pay to see Cocaine Bear. It’s not even bad enough to be good.

Woke Elements

  • For the few meaningful (I use that word very loosely) moments that they share any screentime, the mother-daughter relationship is one in which the mom asks the 12-year-old for permission to do things like go on vacation. The child is snarky and disrespectful, but it is treated as though her behavior is cute.
  • It depicts young children ingesting enough coke to kill someone their size and has them shouting out curse words throughout the film…because the corruption of the innocent is funny…right? If the scene were even remotely funny, it could be forgiven but Banks handles it with what is becoming her trademark hackiness.

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The Menu https://worthitorwoke.com/the-menu/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-menu https://worthitorwoke.com/the-menu/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2023 06:47:01 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=3381 Give your aperitif time to breathe before digging into The Menu, a psychological thriller served in style.

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Directed by Mark Mylod, who is best known for his work on television series such as Game of Thrones, Succession, and Entourage, The Menu is a psychological thriller starring Ralph Fiennes (No Time To Die, The Harry Potter films). Fiennes plays Julian Slowik, a renowned and reclusive chef who lives on a remote island that is home to his exclusive restaurant for the wealthy elite, and tonight he has a very special menu planned for them.

The Menu

While I will do my best, reviewing a thriller in any meaningful way without spoiling anything is a nearly impossible challenge, so please bear with me as I navigate the minefield. The first twenty minutes of The Menu are a perfect example of how to build tension in a film. Aided by pitch-perfect performances, all of the long quiet slightly eschew moments that movies like House of Darkness tried and failed to deliver, The Menu serves up with ease. It is these moments between, the unspoken and unidentified yet implicit threat, that drive The Menu’s narrative, and Hong Chau (The Whale, Downsizing), who plays Chef Slowik’s restaurant Captain, can be credited with much of this. She is wonderfully difficult to read, seamlessly transitioning from welcoming hostess to menacing acolyte and giving us brief tantalizing glimpses of what lies beneath the surface to chilling effect.

In a film in which what is unsaid is more important than what is, one of the standout performances are those given by Janet McTeer (Ozark) and Paul Adelstein (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel), who plays Lillian and Ted, a hoity-toity restaurant critic and her disgustingly sycophantic editor. The chemistry between the two is wonderful, with each feeding off of the other in a decadent symbiosis. They fill the uncomfortable silences with even more uncomfortable banal elitism as she attempts to deduce the chef’s intentions just loudly enough to be heard by everyone but quietly enough to maintain the illusion of a private conversation.

While everyone holds their own in the film, Ralph Fiennes’s star shines the brightest. His portrayal of the serious and wounded Slowik is as offputting as it is magnetic, with Fiennes dancing on the edge of madness throughout. One moment, he’s menacing and the next he’s boiling over with vulnerability and despair, but throughout he commands your attention as easily as his Chef Slowik does his zealot-like kitchen staff.

The many flavors of Ralph Fiennes in The Menu
The many flavors of Ralph Fiennes in The Menu

Unfortunately, the movie flounders in the second act when the twist is revealed. It’s disturbing and potent, but it happens so early in the movie that the reactions of the potential victims don’t make sense. None of them believably try to escape or fight back in any meaningful way. There’s a scene in which it’s shown that escaping would be difficult but it seems insufficient to break all of them from trying again. All that was needed was a scene with someone trying to escape and finding out that the door was locked, or to have someone rush the “bad guys” only to be seriously injured or killed, to make it more believable that everyone just sits there and accepts their fate.

The Menu’s biggest problem is that only two of the restaurant guests are evil enough to come close to justifying what is planned for them but the movie seems to take the antagonist’s side which is that they all deserve death because of how their wealth makes the chef feel.

Finally, the very last shot is completely unearned and dumb.

Some of the performances are almost enough for us to add this to our Worth It selection but it ultimately just misses the mark.

WOKE ELEMENTS

  • The entire premise of the film is that the wealthy elite are horrible and deserve death because of how they make Slowik feel about his “art.” As though his feelings are their responsibility. Unfortunately, since it is the film’s central idea, and it gets very preachy, we dinged it pretty hard for Wokeness. It really is the movie’s downfall. All of the early nuance is flushed in a single spectacle followed by an hour of masterfully performed expositional Lefist justifications.
  • The movie pays lip service to the idea of the “noble prostitute.”

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Violent Night https://worthitorwoke.com/violent-night/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=violent-night https://worthitorwoke.com/violent-night/#comments Sat, 24 Dec 2022 18:44:01 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=1695 Twas the night before Christmas. and all through the house Santa was having a violent night punching lights out.

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There’s a lot to like about Violent Night and I really don’t want to spoil too much because, despite the 3.8 stars that we gave it, it’s pretty enjoyable. David Harbour (Black Widow, Stranger Things), plays a disillusioned Santa Clause who is on his annual trip to spread holiday cheer. Along the way he finds himself trapped in a house besieged by bad guys. So, he John McClains it and starts delivering cans of whoop@$$ instead of dolls and skateboards.

Violent Night

The film’s biggest weakness is that it doesn’t know what it wants to be; is it a farce, is it a serious action flick with a ridiculous premise, or is it a screwball comedy? Instead of picking one of those, it is all three at different times. Violent Night works best when it takes itself seriously. The ridiculousness of Santa, in full garb, absolutely wrecking bad guys is enough to provide the desired laughs, sprinkle in a little girl in danger, and you’ve got yourself a movie. However, including cartoon characters behaving in ways that no human would, rips you out of the moment and ruins any emotional investment that you might have had, and this flick has its fair share of this.

I dinged the performances pretty hard in our star review and that’s because of two things: 1). most of the actors and actresses were fine but nothing to write home about. 2). Morgan Steel, played by Cam Gigandet (Twilight). Morgan Steel is easily the most egregiously distracting character. Remember Ellis from Die Hard? Mogan Steel is Ellis without the charisma and intelligence.

He eats million-dollar deals for breakfast.

Steel is an insipid aspiring actor who is also the gold-digging boyfriend of Alva Litestone, played by Edi Patterson (multiple single-episode appearances on TV programs). He’s also the movie equivalent of erectile dysfunction. Here’s a great example: in the midst of a hostage situation, in which he is one of the hostages, he gives the Litestone matriarch, Gertrude, played by a wasted (talent-wise, she wasn’t drunk or anything) Beverly D’Angelo (National Lampoon’s Vacation series) a full-color film pitch packet and tries to convince her that it’s a gift of a golden opportunity. Again, he’s 10 feet away from a machine gun-wielding maniac who he saw commit murder a few moments ago but somehow thinks that now is the time to pitch a movie. The over-the-top ridiculousness of Morgan Steel could work in the right context (see cousin Eddie in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation), the problem is that the movie shifts tones from Die Hard to Dumb and Dumber at neck-breaking speed, giving the audience no time to relax into a comfortable the flow. Also, unlike National Lampoon, Morgan isn’t the only ridiculously over-the-top character.

Morgan Steel, unnecessary Justin Bieber wannabe character, and an oblivious rich narcissist character

So, what’s good about Violent Night? When it is on point with the primary storyline, Santa is stuck in a house full of murderers who he must brutally kill in order to save a young girl, Violent Night is magically delicious. It’s dark and funny, brutal and exciting, and David Harbour is perfect as Santa in every scene. Seriously, if it weren’t for the goofball characters mucking things up, I’d given the movie 4 or 5 stars for performance just for him. Fortunately, the movie is only very occasionally interrupted by the goofballs.

Santa misses his old Warhammer, Skull Crusher

There’s also an hommage to Home Alone that, at first blush looks like it won’t work but it lands like paint cans on Marv’s head, wickedly funny.

WOKE ELEMENTS

Rich white people being evil, narcissistic, douchebags has been a film trope forever but what truly makes it woke is when the screenwriters try to teach the audience some dumb progressive lesson with it, like being successful is evil. They’ll usually have a person of color be the only voice of reason, and all of the whities will either learn their lesson or come to a terrible end. While Violent Night does have a person of color as the only voice of reason, the movie does a great job of subverting conservative expectations with one little line near the very end when the rich matriarch expresses her pride in one of her children for their greed and ambition. Plus, by the end of the film, the erstwhile reasonable person of color seems to be more on board with the family than ever before. I truly think that the filmmakers were having a bit of fun with those of us expecting wokeness in the film.

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Bullet Train https://worthitorwoke.com/bullett_train/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=bullett_train https://worthitorwoke.com/bullett_train/#comments Fri, 16 Dec 2022 01:17:39 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=1214 If Steven Soderbergh and Guy Ritchie had a baby, it would be Bullet Train

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What happens when a bunch of highly trained assassins with overlapping agendas end up riding on the same high-speed train to Kyoto? I’ll tell you what…a lot of bloody fun called Bullet Train, that’s what.

 

From the director of Hobbs & Shaw, Deadpool 2, and John Wick, David Leitch’s Bullet Train is an ensemble action flick with 2022 style and 1980s sensibilities. It’s not interested in deep stories with “important” messages; instead, it gives you a fun premise, characters that you like despite themselves, and action that sets you to cheering. If there is a message being preached, it’s “don’t become a highly trained assassin and if you do, don’t fill in for an @$$hole assassin (i.e., an assassin that is an @$$hole, not one of The Sisters from Shawshank) when he calls in sick.” Words to live by.

You’re gonna swallow what I give you to swallow.

Bullet Train

Without trying to spoil anything, Bullet Train’s story revolves around a silver briefcase, its contents, its destination, and all of those who would like to possess it, as well as those who would like to possess those who may possess it. The head of the Yakuza and rightful owner of the case’s contents ($10 million) has hired a well-known and deadly duo to safely ferry both his son and the case from Tokyo to Kyoto via the Bullet Train. Unbeknownst to the pair, another unnamed organization has gotten wind of the case and has sent Ladybug, played by Brad Pitt (Once Upon A Time…in Hollywood, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fight Club), to steal it. Begin one of the most violent comedy of errors that you’ve ever seen.

Ladybug is a veteran “snatch and grab man” (read: spy/thief) who’s been semi-retired for a short time while he searched for a new, more peaceful path in life. It was his hope that this would turn his chronic bad luck around, thereby reducing his anxiety. However, luck, or fate, has other ideas for him.

Few actors today can play breezy and likable like Pitt, and even fewer scripts would write a cis white male character who embodies those traits, let alone a character who is also competent and capable of handing out an @$$whooping. Ladybug is almost casually bad@$$, feeling bad for his enemies because he’s unable to stop himself from deflecting their death blows, and he hates that he was the cause of their failure.

That’s not to say that Ladybug is an unstoppable Marty Sue. In fact, he’s deeply flawed and regularly feels the need to call his handler, Maria, played by Sandra Bullock, so that she can help him clear his head and stay focused on the task at hand. He also takes his share of lumps throughout the film, mostly at the hands of The Twins.

Respectively played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Avenger: Age of Ultron, The Kingsman, Kick-Ass 1&2) and Brian Tyree Henry (Godzilla vs. Kong, Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse), the assassins/bodyguards, Tangerine and Lemon, whose job it is to protect and deliver the Yakuza leader’s son and cash, steal the show.

They are two brothers (thought to be twins by those who are not in the know) with very different temperaments but who love one another deeply. We don’t find out that the two are brothers for some time, and due to the fact that they are of different races, it’s not a supposition to which many would immediately leap. In fact, things being what they are nowadays, I found myself assuming that the bickering couple would end up being lovers. However, in one of many refreshing artistic choices, the film opts to show that two men can love one another without being romantically involved.

tangerine and lemon bullet train
Tangerine and Lemon

Aaron’s Tangerine is so much damn fun that it’s criminal that Johnson isn’t staring in more movies. There’s an old musical/film titled A Chorus Line that is about a Broadway dancer who is just past her prime and is now auditioning for a role in a Broadway musical’s chorus line. However, the instincts that once took her to stardom are now a hindrance because she intuitively adds tiny flourishes that would work for a lead but are a distraction for those meant to blend into the background.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying Aaron is past his prime. I am saying that he’s a show pony who can’t help but draw focus to himself. He’s completely invested in the character and, with a dozen little flourishes, manages to elevate what should be a 1-dimensional character to 2.5.

“Why not 3D,” you ask. Let us not forget that Bullet Train is a movie in which kung-fu sword masters and middle-aged American assassins fight teenage caucasian kawaii on a speeding train while dodging venomous snakes and knife-wielding cholos, so let’s just be happy that he’s able to elevate the material as much as he does. That being said, there are moments when Tangerine is thinking about his brother that, in another movie, would bring you to tears. Forget restoring the Snyderverse. Let’s start a Put-Aaron-Taylor-Johnson-In-more-movies movement (#PATJIMM).

Tangerine’s brother and counterpart, played by Brian Tyree Henry, could have easily been an obnoxious twit with a silly obsession with Thomas the Train. Throughout the movie, he regularly relates situations and people to the children’s show, so much so that I was getting PTSD flashbacks to 1993’s Airborne. It’s a ridiculous movie, the only true purpose of which was to sell rollerblades. In it, the protagonist is an insipid California surfer-dude who uses surf analogies like Nick Cannon uses women’s wombs, often and then leaves others to deal with it. However, in Bullet Train, Henry plays Lemon with such innocence and easy charm that you can’t help but root for him…despite the fact that he’s a cold-blooded killer.

WOKE ELEMENTS

In a movie that blue-haired woketards bashed for whitewashing, you might be inclined to surmise that including Zazie Beetz, who plays The Hornet, was a political decision. After all, she didn’t fit in with the rest of the group. Her performance was wooden, and her fighting wasn’t up to the same level as the rest of the cast. However, she played the standout character Domino in David Leitch’s 2018 Deadpool 2, so much so that there was talk of her getting her own spinoff, and I know that I was rooting for it.

So, I think that this was more a case of the director having warm-and-fuzzies for her and her just not being right for the material. Also, despite the character’s bravado, she gets her @$$ handed to her pretty handily in this film when pitted against a male character. In today’s Black-Widow-can-hold-her-own-against-super-powered-super-villans world, I know that I expected her to be a snarky b!t@h who could hand out beatings like she was Ike and guys several inches taller, 50 lbs heavier, and with a lifetime of testosterone having built their bones and muscle were Tina. Since that didn’t happen, I say there be no woke here.

It’s become the norm to substitute offputting sarcastic jerk women who are caricatures of what a room full of privileged women-studies graduates think that a man is in lieu of believable female characters grounded in reality. Therefore, the final possible argument for wokeness in this film might be Joey King’s Prince (for clarification’s sake, Joey is a girl). Prince is a precocious tw@t who outthinks all of her male counterparts…except that she doesn’t, and, unlike Kit from the travesty that is the new Willow series, she’s not supposed to be likable. She is a villain who behaves villainously. She’s also performed to perfection by King. I rule…not guilty of wokeness.

One could also make the case that deciding to make two brothers of two different races is a clear sign of diversity hiring. Again, I say nay. Henry was absolutely the best man for the job, and the choice was made for comedic purposes. Also, it’s not like they couldn’t be half-brothers or had been adopted. No woke for you.

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Critters https://worthitorwoke.com/critters/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=critters https://worthitorwoke.com/critters/#respond Sat, 30 Apr 2022 03:26:01 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=3234 Critters is a cult classic B-movie with good special effects, a decent cast, and an entertaining plot that's so bad it's good.

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Critters is a film that offers a fun and entertaining story, with a good balance of humor, action, and special effects. The plot follows a group of small, furry alien creatures who escape from a prison planet and land on Earth, where they wreak havoc on a small Kansas town.

Critters

The special effects used to create the critters are well done and add a sense of realism to the film. The creatures themselves are cute and lovable, despite their destructive behavior. The film’s humor is well-balanced, offering both slapstick comedy and witty one-liners that will keep audiences laughing. The film’s score also adds to the humor and action, making it an all-around enjoyable experience.

The cast of the film is good, but not without its flaws. Dee Wallace and Billy Zane deliver decent performances, but at times their characters feel underdeveloped and their motivations unclear. However, their chemistry on screen is undeniable, and they do a good job of making the audience care about their characters. The child actors in the film also deliver good performances, but the script doesn’t give them much to work with. Their young age, however, adds a sense of innocence and vulnerability to the story, making them a likable addition to the film.

The pacing of the film is brisk and never drags, keeping the audience engaged throughout. The film’s climax is exciting, with a thrilling chase and action-packed finale that will have audiences on the edge of their seats. The film also manages to balance suspense and humor throughout, making it an enjoyable experience.

Overall, Critters is a well-crafted film that offers a fun and entertaining story, good special effects, and a decent cast. Although the characters and actors could have been given more depth and development to make the film even more engaging, it still manages to be an enjoyable watch. The film’s humor, action, and special effects make it a great option for audiences of all ages, and it is definitely worth a watch.

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The Burbs https://worthitorwoke.com/burbs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=burbs https://worthitorwoke.com/burbs/#respond Wed, 07 Apr 2021 04:25:16 +0000 https://worthitorwoke.com/?p=3258 The Burbs is a dark comedy that will keep you on the edge of your seat with its unique blend of suspense and dark humor.

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The Burbs” is a film that will be remembered for its unique blend of suspense, dark humor and its all-star cast. Directed by Joe Dante, the film tells the story of a suburban neighborhood where strange and mysterious things begin to happen when a new family moves in next door. The film is a perfect blend of genres and it is a must-watch for anyone who loves a good mystery and dark comedy.

The Burbs

The film’s biggest strength is its cast, led by Tom Hanks in one of his most memorable comedic roles. He perfectly captures the paranoia and absurdity of the situation, and his chemistry with the rest of the cast is top-notch. Bruce Dern and Carrie Fisher also deliver strong performances, adding to the film’s comedic tone. The casting and performances of the actors were spot on, they all were able to bring their characters to life and make the audience laugh and feel the suspense.

The film’s direction is also noteworthy, with Joe Dante masterfully building tension and suspense while also infusing the film with moments of dark humor. The film’s special effects, particularly the gory finale, are also well done and add to the film’s overall sense of unease.

The film’s pacing, although it starts off slowly, the second half picks up the pace and the climax is both suspenseful and satisfying. The film’s ending leaves the audience with a sense of satisfaction and closure, making it a complete film.

In conclusion, “The Burbs” is a film that should not be missed. With a talented cast, exceptional direction, and a unique blend of genres, it’s a film that will be remembered for a long time. It’s not without its flaws, but it’s an enjoyable film that will keep you on the edge of your seat. It’s a terrific blend of suspense, dark humor, and mystery that will keep you entertained throughout. It’s a movie that will leave you wanting more and it’s a definite must-watch for anyone who loves a good mystery and dark comedy.

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